CHANGING RELATIONSHIPS
While people generally think about changing relationships as losses, centered on separation, divorce or death, relationships can also be viewed as gains, such as new commitment and/or marriage, becoming a grandparent or even a great grandparent. Changing relationships can be high impact transitions, resulting in a change of routines, roles, responsibilities and assumptions about yourself. What may be positive for you may be negative for someone else; thus it is difficult to generalize about which strategies you might use to help you cope.
Looking at your 4 S’s will enable you to determine the most appropriate way to deal with your relationship transition. For example, if you are divorcing and losing the Support of your spouse/partner’s family, you would need to find another source of support. There are many support groups for separated and divorced people. Therefore, your Action Plan would be to find an appropriate support group. On the other hand, if your Situation is low because you will have a reduced income and may have to move, you might get professional advice, read books and articles about your Situation and talk to others. If possible, you may try to change your Situation. Perhaps you might use the Strategy "reframing" so that you can view your Situation more positively.
It is hard to be depressed if you are actively taking steps to change one of your 4 S’s.
If your Self area is low because you feel a loss of control and resiliency, you may want to seek professional guidance to help you cope; or read self-help books for insight and encouragement.
If your Strategies are low, think about what strategies have helped you during previous transitions? What strategies might you use to help you manage this one? If you’re dealing with a divorce, for example, you may need to assert yourself and look anew at your life goals. No matter what the transition, engaging in humor and laughter always reduces tension, even for a short time.
